Tuesday, July 29, 2008

And the Season's Change was a Conduit and we'd Left Our Love in Our Summer Skin

The first question that I will receive from my friends when I get back to Biola will be about my summer. Three quarters through my first summer after being away from summer, here is what I’ve enjoyed.

Relaxing and Leisure: It seems that throughout the course of a semester and even a year, stress takes its annual toll on me so the summer made a great way to relax. For the first month while I was not working, I found that I had a hard time balancing relaxation without falling into sloth. In the end, I made my schedule busy so that I would feel like my summer was accomplished. Looking back, those brief moments of leisure I had at the beginning of summer are moments I would like to relive once school starts again.

Reading: While I have not delved into Torrey reading as much as I would like to, I reread some books I read during the summer. I absolutely loved my read through A Severe Mercy, The Picture of Dorian Gray, and What’s So Amazing About Grace. Moreover, I found a new interest in reading poetry (as well as writing some). Currently, I am traveling through ‘Inferno’ with Dante and Virgil and am amazed about epic poetry.

Joni and Friends Family Camp: I’ve already talked about the amazing time I had at the camp a couple of weeks ago. Not a day goes by where I haven’t thought about all those amazing campers and STM’s. Even better is the fact that I still keep in contact with some people from camp.

Family: This should really be first, but seeing that there’s no particular order, I cannot express with typed words how much I’ve enjoyed being with my family this summer. Last week, my dad and I spent a week together and we had some good conversations about parenting, sports, missions trips, and growing up. It’s always great to gleam from his wisdom. Moreover, I’ve been able to spend some more time with my younger brother, Ryan. He’s grown up more than anyone since I’ve been away and it’s fun to experience life with him on a daily basis.

Spiritual Progress: As I am reading through Dante and his journey (through hell in Inferno), I have thought about how my spiritual growth is much like a journey. It’s a process of growth. Sometimes, it feels that my progress does not always have a positive slope, but I feel that it is something that is always growing nonetheless. One thing I have been thinking about is getting the most out of life. We’re Christians, but are we really living to the fullest? What does living to the fullest even look like? We can turn to Jesus when it comes to living a fulfilling life, but how much leisure should we incorporate into our life? Again, this is one of those areas of my life where I can feel fulfilled but still have an endless amount of questions on.

Work: I’ve already explained how I love working with children. Today, I overheard an interesting conversation with a boy and a girl.

Girl: I know where Jesus was born.

Boy: Jesus isn’t real. He’s like Santa Claus

Me: Why don’t you believe Jesus is real?

Boy: Because my friend goes to church and he always lies to me and gets in fights.

Me: Then who do you think made all these trees you see?

Boy: The Volcanoes

Me: But Volcanoes always destruct things…they don’t create things.

Boy: Yeah you’re probably right. Hey, can we play dodgeball later today?

Hmm…even children realize that the greatest witness for Christianity are Christians themselves.

All in all, I’ve had a fulfilling summer. I am starting to miss my Biola friends, but I know that once I go to Biola, I will miss my family and friends here. In the end, I have found that I must be content in all circumstances and locations I am in.

I am looking forward to the last several weeks I have of summer and I continually hope and pray that I can live the words I write in this blog. It seems that it is quite easy to write spiritually and live unspiritually. I have found that a completely honest person will live the way he writes. That is just one more challenge and risk you take when blogging. You must live the way you write.

I hope to write soon…

Saturday, July 19, 2008

My week at Joni and Friends

Summing up my week at Joni and Friends is difficult to do in a blog. I went in without knowing what to expect and I left with a new perspective on people with disabilities. While I used to pity disabled people because I felt like they were missing out on life, I have realized that they’re not missing out at all. In my previous blog, I pondered the concept of child-like faith. Simple faith. Many of the campers I was privileged to work with had such a simple understanding of the Christian faith. Nevertheless, that did not prevent them from exhibiting the joy of the Lord in their life. Sometimes, I think that they’re not the ones missing out…maybe it is us (we who are packing our schedules to the brim, we who are being swallowed by the concerns of the world) who are really missing out on life. Moreover, I was taught that everyone is disabled in some way. While some have physical disabilities, others may have emotional or spiritual disabilities that are hidden from the world. In the end, we are all incapable in some way. The physically disabled must rely on the help of another, but we are all spiritually disabled without the assistance of God. I wish my words were convincing enough to make everyone go out and serve at a Joni and Friends camp. But alas, I have found that the joy in serving at JAF is something that I cannot adequately articulate through a blog. It is simply something you must do willingly and lovingly.

The camper I had was a boy who was 16 years old and he had down syndrome. Although it was hard to understand him at times, we had a lot of fun together. We did swimming, baseball, football, basketball, and we played at the playground. I learned a lot about patience from his parents and he taught me a lot about unconditional love and reliance. Not only did I have a great time with the campers, I also had a lot of fun with the fellow STM’s (short term missionary). It was great to see such a diverse group of people serving. They were encouraging and uplifting.

Luke 14:21 - Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.'

This is a great inspiring video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qTiYA1WiY8

This is a poem about my camper, Scotty:

The long road was sprinkled with dirt from below,
Antique houses sat on one side; on the other laid a grassy knoll,
Sunlight poured down from the sky above,
Much like when the sky opened and down floated a dove,

I watched you dance for as long as I could,
And as you spoke, half of what you said was understood,
The other half fell upon the ears of the Heavenly Father,
As you smiled back into the crowd at your father,

Bringing back memories of me at three,
Together we conquered the slide and sat under a tree,
You talked to yourself like everything was grand,
You’re really no different; you’re still a part of God’s plan,

You ran around the bases as if rules did not matter,
And you swung the bat like you were a mean batter,
God’s love comes in different packages and you surprised even me,
For I was the one who needed to wash in the Jordan River so I could see,

We are all blind in some way or another,
And can we call ourselves Christians if we can’t serve our brother,
We are all sinful in some way or another,
And what is love except the love shown by all those mothers,

Tears flowed down my cheek,
As I learned many things in that week,
Love melted eyes that were haughty,
All because of a boy named Scotty,

Saturday, July 12, 2008

What does it mean to have a child-like faith?

“Please God, make me a bird so I can fly far, far away from here.” When Jenny mutters those words with Forrest in a cornfield near the back of her trashy house, I cannot help but to acknowledge the beauty of that scene. The one thing I love about children is how quickly they can break a smile upon my face.

I have worked with children (K-3rd Grade) for the last 5 years of my life. Back in May when I worked in an elementary school near Biola through the American Reads Program, I witnessed what I would call a normal act for a five year old, but something quite precious for even a busy college student like me. It was enough for me to mutter a simple prayer of thanks for the simplicity and innocence of children. One of the girls colored me a rose and handed it to me. To her, it could have been the David statue or the ‘The Scream,’ yet to the average person it was quite mundane. Then on my final day of work, all the children wrote a Thank you note for working with them and their reading.

This summer, I have once again had the privilege of working with children. Everyday we run summer camps much like VBS or day camps. There are songs and ice breakers in the morning, creek time, games, arts and crafts, kickball, whiffle ball and dodgeball. While the activities throughout the day can be mundane, it is truly the children who bring me joy in my job. One boy named Daniel (we like to call him Big-D) does the Chiggy dance like you’ve never seen one do it before, tries to freestyle rap, and he is a master at chess. He is only 5 years old and probably 3 foot nothing. The guy is hilarious.

It would exhaust my fingers to go into detail in why I love working with children. One of the reasons could be that their innocence allows you to lead them in the admonition of the Lord. They’re such simplistic and basic beings that I cannot help but to love their excitement for the unrecognizable events of the day. Everyday I scan the playground for rolly-polly’s with the children, push the screaming kids on the swings, and read Clifford and Dr. Seuss to them. Some could say that the reward is signing the paycheck every other week and others could say the reward is receiving a coloring of a rose by a 5 year old that couldn’t sell for a quarter. Either way, loving these children is a way for me to nostalgically recall my childhood and to realize the importance Christians can have on the tomorrow’s generation. It breaks my heart that many children who are quite innocent and cute now may end up living a life of the world in a short several years.

So if children are such basic and simple beings, why then does the Bible say to be like one? Matthew 18:1-6 states, “At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”

This passage teaches me several things:

  • We are to have a child like faith
  • One must humble himself as if he becomes a child to enter the Kingdom of Heaven
  • There is great responsibility in bringing children up in the Lord

Thus, it appears to me that faith requires a simplistic nature. After discussing certain theological topics that I cannot wrap my mind around, I find it amazing that God calls us to simplicity and faith that is quite simple to enter the Kingdom of God. The purpose of changing and becoming a little one is to be humble. While the pursuit of truth is good for the soul, there is this ironic breakdown in which God calls us to be ‘simple like children’ so we may be humble. However, there is a problem I find with this, because literally speaking, children are hardly humble beings. It seems like they are always boasting about catching the biggest fish and telling about their day. How are we to be humble like children then? It is a question I cannot answer unless I examine the possibility that Matthew is talking about humbleness in their simplicity. Because a child’s intelligence is inferior to an adults, we adults must humble ourselves to the form of children to enter God’s Kingdom. Finally, the responsibility in raising children is quite a task. Matthew doesn’t use confusing language. He says, either raise a child in the Lord or lead him to sin and drown yourself in the depths of the sea. He leaves no room for error in the manner which children should be raised.

In the end, I cannot conclude my thoughts regarding this ‘childlike faith’ that Matthew requires us to have. Sure we are to pursue truth and be knowledgeable beings, but when all is said and done, all we need is humility and simple faith of a child. May the Lord bless everyone always. His faithfulness is everlasting.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Walking the Streets of Philadelphia

1. Sunlight pours in my window and as I continue to fight off a raging fever, it feels like I am trapped in an asylum. The birds are chirping and the song, ‘Words I Can’t Say’ softly come forth from my speakers. I thought about how much I like being alone sometimes and whether or not my introvert nature is a good or bad thing. It seems that I find myself less comfortable around people I used to be extremely comfortable with. I haven’t figured out yet if it is people also aren’t as comfortable around me as they once were, or if it is me who closes myself off to them. A line from Donald Miller’s Blue Like Jazz rings out as I entertain this process of self-discovery,

"If there was a guy who just liked being himself and didn't want to be anybody else, that guy would be the most different guy in the world and everybody would want to be him"

2. I just finished reading What’s So Amazing About Grace? by Phillip Yancey. It was a great read and it sparked a rather melancholy demeanor in myself as I have come to realize that Christians can be the most judgmental people. We who have been given the grace of God cannot find it in ourselves to extend this grace to others. As I read and became convicted throughout, I started becoming angry with myself for being so unforgiving and cold to those who need grace the most. As well as exploring topics such as forgiveness, Yancey touched on the topic of legalism. He talks about his experience at a Bible college that was so strict that its main focus became ‘to follow the rules’ instead of ‘to glorify God.’ Many Christians seem to abandon the idea of glorifying God in an effort to see what they can get away with when it comes to ‘the rules’ of Christianity. It really befuddles me how Christians are such sticklers for the rules when Christians should want to follow rules out of their love for God. Yancey states, “I have little resentment against these particular rules but much resentment against the way they were presented. I had the constant, pounding sense that following an external code of behavior was the way to please God.” In the end, Yancey compares legalists to the Pharisees. I took a mirror into my own life and realized how often I do things to ‘please God’ and not necessarily out of my love for God. It was a quite convicting read.

“We walked ankle deep in the ocean
You know the place where footprints disappear”

3. Love. Lately I’ve thought a lot about love. This topic is so grand and magnificent, that I cannot cover it in a blog. The only thing I can conclude is that I want to love like Christ loved humanity or like a mother loves her child. It seems that we cannot be loved unless we ourselves love others. It seems that the question must first be asked what is love? We know from I Corinthians 13 that which love does. It makes one patient, kind, forgiving etc. It seems the closest I can come to a definition is sacrifice. Love is laying down your desires for the desires of others. But then again, I am still in a process of self-discovery and maybe I don't know a thing about love.

Sparkling eyes, dry yourself of the tears you cry,
Hope is not lost until you say the final goodbye,
A lament in the form of belief is a beautiful thing
Like lofty grandeur and the bird that sings

Love emptied Himself out to give life to the dead,
Like a pencil that gives away all of its led,
Today I will write about Love,
Today I will see it descend in the form of a dove,

Life gives birth to that which is bittersweet,
Like an artist who depicts depression on every street,
Painting that which cannot be repaired again,
A master plan that needed not a mend,

The four holes which spoke of the greatest love,
Was all it took to kill thy Father’s dearest dove,
Oh how I now see…goodbye is no more,
And Love now speaks to me upon the shore,

Thy sheep are fed, but my task is not yet done,
There is still the poor to feed and still plenty of sun,
Faith calls my name across that same ocean shore,
Where I shall stay until I come home to an open door,

The door opens and I am blinded by what I see,
It isn’t gold but only the poor people smiling back at me,
There is a melody and I catch the form of Beauty,
And I drop to my knees as Love stares back at me,