Because It Never Breaks Even...

Quick Poll: Can a guy and a girl ever be super close friends without one of them falling for each other?

It's been a thought project of mine for the semester. Half of my friends would probably say no and half of them would probably say yes. I've always believed yes, but now I've gone back and forth and am not too sure either way.

Oh and a Poem:

Love may speak of volumes,
Through the cracks of wrinkled skin,
Embedded deep within are the memories of life,
Happy moments intertwined with sadness of strife,

And though it is impossible to fathom,
Impossible to know,
The first smile would take us there,
And our first dance would bring us near,

Because now even walking is difficult,
And breathing is laborious,
The smile reveals cracked teeth,
But the eyes still sparkle the same,

The leaves fall representing the death of a season,
They freeze and crack; caught in the breeze,
I sneeze and smile, as you hack and wheeze,
Death be not proud, for death conquers all but one,

To die is to live, and to love is to die,
So hold on a while longer and laugh once more,
Sparkle as you did many years ago,
And show the light inside the dying eye,

And many think love looks like this or looks like that,
But can you paint love on a picture?
Or write about it in a poem?
Can you pick it up and hold it for a while?
As you squeeze it with the tip of your tongue?

Neigh it is impossible to say what it is,
Until one looks upon the wrinkled skin of a dying spouse,
Until one sees the leaves fall from a dying tree,
Until one gazes at the last sparkle of a twinkling eye,

Why I Love Christmas

It is difficult to pinpoint a single reason why Christmas is so great.

Yes, the Word hath become flesh and dwelt among us. We have beheld His glory. Objectively, this is the reason we must not forget. This truth is insatiable. We can pursue it’s meaning, but we can never fully grasp it. This is what makes truth True and beauty Beautiful. I do not devalue this statement and I contradict my opening statement, for this is the only reason as to why we even have Christmas.

Apart from this reason however, there are some things we can grasp that makes Christmas wonderful.

Egg Nog and Peppermint Ice Cream: Somehow, the holidays just are not complete without these two present. To not have either present is as egregious as not having birthday cake at a birthday party or no Turkey on Thanksgiving. I suppose I could just put food in general, but I thought it would be particularly special out these two favorites. :)

Children: Children just seem happier at this time of the year. I love watching the expression of children as they joyfully receive a new present. This is a time where they understand what it means to give and receive and maybe for once, you can trick a child into believe that Santa Claus really does exist. It is fun and their smiles are priceless. No matter what a child receives on Christmas morning, he will often act like Ralphie did when he received his Red Ryder BB Gun in A Christmas Story.

Family: There are happy family gatherings and there are awkward family gatherings. Either way, family members who may only see each other once a year get together for at least a day of fellowship. Spending time with extended family has always been a special memory for me when I was a child, so spending time with extended family is just a good feeling altogether.

Music: I don’t agree with the people who say Christmas music must be played at just Christmas time for it to mean something. I rebel and often play Christmas music during the middle of the year. That’s just how good Christmas music is. Nevertheless, it’s always extra special during the appropriate time of the year.

Love: Who actually knows what love (eros) is or what it looks like…but during the Christmas season, everyone just feels like they have to be extra romantic. Even if it’s cheesy or sometimes forced, I enjoy watching it. Romance is always fun to watch (unless you’re a Sigma couple on the couch). In case you think this particular section is about you or a particular person, you’re just wrong. Love is a beautiful thing for anyone. Maybe it’s the lights or the beautiful decorations or the smell of cider in the air; or maybe it’s the fact that we celebrate this holiday to remember the greatest act of love ever shown. May we spend the rest of our lives trying to figure out how to love a person more than yesterday, but less than tomorrow.

Home: Home has a new meaning now that I spend ¾ of my year at college. Christmas means being home. I can finally understand the power behind the lyrics for “I’ll Be Home For Christmas.” Being home on such a family driven holiday is so special it is sometimes indescribable. The feeling I get when I am home is often indescribable as well. I’ll leave it at that.

Don’t forget the baby in the manger, the holiness of Mary, the humility, the decent and the ascension of Christ.

But certainly don’t forget to enjoy your time with the family, to cherish your time at home, to love someone special a little more, to crank up the Christmas music louder than normal, to smile with the children who seem just a tad bit happier, and most surely, don’t forget the Egg Nog and the Peppermint Ice Cream.

Puer Aeternus

There is a strange fear about growing up. When I was five, grown up was a ten year old, and when I was ten, grown up was anyone over eighteen. To the high school student, college is scary, but to the college student, working a salary job might be considered scary. There is always a greater step to take or a more monumental accomplishment waiting to be fulfilled.

Time plays a large role in growing up. While the days pass on by at a regular rate of 24 hours/day, we sometimes wish that time would slow down or speed up at our own whim. Even sillier than wishing time to change for our desires is the idea that we are to be eternally young. Being eternally young sounds fun. Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes I wish my biggest concern would be to figure out how to color coordinate my legos instead of figuring out how to take out a loan to pay for college. It might even be easier to believe that the opposite gender still had cooties instead of having to break the heart of someone you have foolishly led on.

However, in growing up we obtain maturity and knowledge. The Apostle Paul urges the Christian to go past milk and consume spiritual meat. Modern Christian authors are always encouraging Christians to live past the basics and to do things that stretch their character and comfort zone. An 16 year old athlete trains harder than a 5 year old gymnast and the former pushes his or her body to the limit. Students must constantly push their mind at an increasing rate. And so in growing up, we see that there is a process and a maturity. We cannot be Peter Pan who believes that it is easier to be ‘Puer Aeternus (eternally young).’ We cannot be the 5 year old who fears failure so much that he does not dare to move past simple mathematics. And so we find that when we get to college, we certainly cannot be the student who fears the real world after graduation and fears taking risk and opportunity. Do hard things and learn new things. Watch those who have gone ahead of you and teach the younger generation. Grow up, but don’t take life too seriously. While it may be permissible to fear the challenge ahead of us at any stage of life, we must always be ready to embrace not just new opportunity, but the failing that often comes with growing up.

Christmas Eve Will Find You

I have thought a lot about this semester. A part of it has sped by way too fast, and a part of it went by way too slow. I have learned more about myself than ever. I have read more Theology than I ever thought I could have in three months. I have read Paul’s Epistles with a whole new understanding of unity, the Church, love, and suffering. All in all, I have been left with a lot of thought projects. I think one thing I have learned above all else is to complete your thought projects, so you don’t let them overwhelm you.

I suppose I could go on thinking about Calvinism, High Church, the Eucharist, and Beauty forever. Or I could come to the end of my wits and just spout my own creed about a certain Theological Topic. It might be premature, but it is also necessary to have an opinion on necessary theology. A wise professor once stated, “By the time you graduate college, you must have a Theological opinion about what you are studying.” Let us think when necessary, but let us decide eventually as well.

I am incredibly thankful for my family. It has been a blessing to go to the same school as Scott. I learn new things from him all the time and even when he makes mistakes, I am still learning from him. The best part about being his younger brother has been watching him grow up and make decisions. And now as he graduates college with high honors, I could not be more proud and happy to be a part of his life.

My mom is always encouraging me. I would say I love her for doing that…but then I would leave out the rest of the 101 reasons on why I love her. I believe encouragement is too undervalued. It really isn’t hard to encourage another person, yet I never do it enough. I often time want to be the first person to tell a friend I’m proud of them or that they look really amazing, but for some reason, it almost feels awkward to be too overly encouraging. Why is that? I don’t think it should ever be awkward to encourage another person. Paul was the master of encouragement when necessary and ‘harsh words’ when also necessary.

It saddens me that I am not a part of the Christmas season with my family. By the time I get home, Christmas is already less than a week away and I often feel that being at college forces you to forget the Christmas season. This year, however, Christmas may mean more than ever. The Word hath become flesh (John 1:14). Wow. That statement blows me away every time. The Christmas story is in Luke…but the story of Christ’s love for us shines the brightest in John 1. Reading authors such as Athanasius and Anselm and trying to figure out what the Incarnation means for us as humans has made me appreciate Christmas more than ever. We tend to focus on Christmas presents and traditions too much and we forget what it means that Christ had to become nothing to even live with us…let alone to die for us (Philippians 2). And so we will decorate our tree and take Christmas pictures. We will watch Christmas movies and listen to music and we will open presents and take down our decorations and then we will do it all again next year. And somehow, we will forget that Christ’s example of becoming nothing for our behalf should somehow inspire us to be nothing for those who are less fortunate than us. I ponder this now. But I may forget all of this come next May. And that is sad.


May we never forget. Ever.


I peered into little circles of Green Tea Ice Cream,
And found a dot really did exist in the middle.
It was a game to focus on that little dot,
But I lost…for I was overwhelmed with beauty,

Seven freckles sparkled especially bright that night.
They looked like the big dipper,
But maybe they just represented the days of creation,
Or the days between Jesus on a Donkey,
and Jesus resurrected from grave.

On Friendship

Over Thanksgiving weekend, I had the privilege to read The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis. While I enjoyed what he had to say about love in general, I particularly enjoyed his section on friendship.

Friendship is often taken for granted. Sometimes we forget how particular friendships are formed or why we are friends with certain people, but we do not deny the necessity of their existence. We laugh with friends and we know who our friends are. We tell secrets to friends and we cry upon their shoulder when the situation presents itself. We build communities through friends and we destroy community through cliques.

To befriend someone with a similar mindset as yourself is the most natural ‘thing’ to do. A baby who sees another baby playing in the same crib already has the basic notion of friendship.

Philosophically speaking, some of the greatest minds ever (Aristotle & Cicero) have written about friendship and have both agreed that it is necessary for the betterment of the soul and for the building of community. It must happen between two good people who pursue similar interests. Moreover, both agree that a pure friendship is incredibly rare. C.S. Lewis states, “Few value it (friendship), because few experience it.”

Lewis gives an incredible picture of friendship when he states, “Hence we picture lovers face to face, but Friends side by side; their eyes look ahead.” When I think of two lovers, I immediately think of two people completely infatuated with each other that they can only stare at each other’s eyes hoping to reach the depths of the other person’s soul through the eyes. When I think of two friends, I picture two (or maybe more) virtuous people running a race or climbing a mountain together. If one pulls ahead, he pulls the other(s) up with him or he slows down so he can walk together with his friends. If a person falls behind in the race, he tries extra hard to catch up with his friend who is now ahead. The capstone of this picture is not necessarily about who is pulling who up, but it is about where their eyes lay. They look toward the end and they run together so that they pursue the end together. It seems that in love (eros), you are pursuing each other. In love (friendship), you are pursuing the interest or the end goal.

Practically however, friendships are always changing. My best friend in Junior High may not be the same best friend I have in college. And that is the problem with friendships. They cycle in and out at too rapid of a pace. People change and stop pursuing the same interests they once pursued. Because friendships are always changing and they rarely last a lifetime, the question to ask is either 1. What can we do to keep a friendship? OR 2. What should we try to get out of a friendship while they do last?

The latter question seems a little less hopeful and maybe slightly more utilitarian. Maybe we shouldn’t give up hope in friendships and we should invest into each person’s life as if our friendships with them is really going to last forever. Maybe we should be wise with how we invest ourselves and pick a few friends instead of many. Maybe we should treat friendship as strong as we treat eros. And once we do such, maybe we can understand the importance of investing your entire self into another person’s life.

“Lovers are always talking to one another about their love; Friends hardly ever about their Friendship. Lovers are normally face to face, absorbed in each other; Friends, side by side, absorbed in some common interest. Above all, Eros (while it lasts) is necessarily between two only. But two, far from being the necessary number for Friendship, is not even the best…Hence true Friendship is the least jealous of loves.” - C.S. Lewis